The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."(I love this part) The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."This one is compliments of kilocyclesExcuse meA man enters a hotel lobby. As he runs to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman and as he does, his elbow hits her breast.They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 243."This one is complements of R LA little boy walks into a whorehouse with a murderous look on his face and a dead frog in his hands and asks, "I want a whore with herpes."The madam looks at the boy and says,"We don't have any of those around here, kid."The boy is not to be deterred, and screams, "I WANT A WHORE WITH. I suddenly realised that women havegreater abilities to sense what is going on at the other end of thetelephone. I seemed to have acquired that sensitivity, even though Iwas not a woman. How is that possible?Some of us went for a drink after work. I had sort of fallen out of thehabit of doing that, as I seemed to have become accustomed to spendingevenings at home, but I agreed this time. I was not Luba at the pub,but I was not me. I kept speaking in a female voice simply because anyother voice would have been weird. It was sort of a female me. And Idrank wine instead of beer, which was not really me. But then, I wasn'treally me at all.When I got home I just masturbated like crazy. I imagined that the girlin the mirror was not me, but Luba the Bulgarian, who it turns out, is areal slut. She thinks that I am hot, and she will do anything to turnme on. For the first time in my life I stuck something up my anus. Ihad found the dildo and gel some weeks before, but now I was.
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